Engagelife’s Weblog

Yesterday I had this foreboding feeling at the polls.  I was sure that Obama would win and this country would change in ways that I am not at all comfortable with in my spirit.  The truth is God placed Barack Obama in the office of President of the United States of America.  I trust God’s plans even though I don’t see what He’s doing here.

On a different note, I am proud that American’s actually took advantage of their right to vote.  I think it’s sad on one side that people haven’t cared enough in the past to vote, but the fact that they voted yesterday is a great thing. 

I also think that the world now understands that we aren’t a racist country.   I didn’t vote for Obama because I don’t agree with his policies not because of the color of his skin.  I can only sort-of understand the significance of this historic moment because I haven’t faced the difficulties that many of our black brothers and sisters have faced.  I am truly happy for what this can do for the black community.  The truth is Obama’s life story is extremely inspiring.  He has overcome some difficult things to get where he is, and I hope it shows everyone who thinks that they are stuck in their life of less than status quo that they can accomplish anything they put their mind to just like Obama and many others have done.  Congratulations to the United States of America for speaking up and being heard.  That is what America is all about, right?

As every loyal American  should I have already started praying for the safety of the Obama and Biden families.  I am praying that God will grant Barack wisdom and clarity, strength and purpose, and that he will truly change things for the better.  I give him my support because of his position in our country.  After all, it’s important to seperate people from policies as much as possible.  We should not hate the man just because we don’t agree with his policies.  That’s childish!  Let’s pray for President Elect Obama with all our hearts.

This morning our church hosted the Children of the World International Childrens Choir.  I expected to be inspired by them and by the opportunity to worship with other people of the world.  It was moving, but it was also heart wrentching.  Of course, I know that people in Africa and other countries are dying of aids and facing other tragic things.  I have NEVER really let that sink into my heart and emotions.  Today I was troubled by what the people of Africa are living with everyday, death, desperation, hopelessness. 

I was blown away be the appalling level of my selfishness and whining.  I have so much, but can only see what I wish I had or need.  I was disgusted at myself, but God reminded me that I did not ask to be born in the USA.   God placed me here.  Why here?  Why not Africa?  I don’t know the reason he had for putting me here, but I do know that he has given me resources to help those who need help.  Instead of bashing myself for my lack of gratitude and awareness of my great blessings I am thanking God for the opportunity to reflect his redemptive nature and share my blessings with people who desperately need to see his hand.

I’m am moved beyond belief and looking for God’s next step to show his love to the people he created.

This morning I was working on a Bible study that I’m co-leading at church.  We are studying a book by Carolyn Custis James called The Gospel of Ruth-Loving God Enough to Break the Rules.  I have only just started the study, but I’m already reeling.  Talk about someone who suffered. Naomi suffered greatly, to say the least.  She had two daughters-in-law who make very different choices for different reasons.  My perception of Naomi, Ruth and Orpah have always been that Naomi was bitter towards God, Ruth was extremely loyal, and Orpah abandoned Naomi when given the chance. 

I believe every woman can all find herself in this story.  As I’ve been reading this book Ms. James has opened my eyes to a few things about each of these women that has changed my perspective or brought me closer to their story of pain and choice. 

Naomi lost her husband and two sons, and now she’s mad at God.  Right?  Yes, but there’s more to this story.  As I read the book I was struck by a few things.  When Naomi lost her husband and sons she lost a whole lot more than what is obvious.  She lost all the things that define her as a woman and that give her security.   With her husband gone she lost the love of her life.  She lost her protector and provider.  She lost her lover and friend.  She lost a deep intimacy.  When she lost her sons she lost her status and life work.  In those days a woman was looked at as prosperous when she was able to bare children.  Her sons were two strands that would continue her husband’s family and name on into the future.   They were the ones who were to care for her until she died.  Her future was very much in jeapardy.  Her children were her life work, and she had nothing to show for her labor.  She had no social status with no husband or children.  She was also a foreigner in Moab, so she is almost the lowest of lowest socially.  Marrying again was not an option.  Her physical life was jeapardized as well because there were those who preyed on widowers.  This suffering on for many, many years with no real relief.  There was also a famine in the land of Moab, so she was watching her family suffer in ways we cannot understand.  To say the least her life was unbarable.  She had no respect, no financial security, no emotional security, no future stability, no hope.  She truly had everything that a woman was created to need and desire TAKEN away from her.

When Naomi was returning to Bethlehem, her families land, with Orpah and Ruth she urged them to return to their homeland, the land of their family.  They would have a chance to remarry.  They could be with their families and worship the gods they grew up worshipping.  They would have a chance for security and a future.  Both Orpah and Ruth had to make a decision, staying with Naomi and give up any positive future or return home and have a chance for a husband and a life.

Orpah chose to return home.  I always thought she was less noble for leaving Naomi, but Ms. James showed me that going home was the smart choice.  Going back to Moab made more sense.  After all, who would have wanted to be single and childless in a foreign land when they could return home, the home of their past.  Can you really blame her?  She made the wise choice in human eyes. 

Ruth on the otherhand chose to stay with Naomi.  She chose to be single and childless in a foreign land.  Why would she do this?  What sense does that make?  She was young and had her whole life ahead of her.  Her parents would have told her to come home.  I would have told her to go home too.  What would compel Ruth to chose to GIVE AWAY everything she was created to need and desire.  Why?  There was something that Ruth wanted more than physical and emotional security.  She wanted the God of Naomi and her people.   She saw God through the life of her mother and father-in-law as well as her husband.  She didn’t want other gods.  She wanted the One True God.  Even after she saw what being God’s follower cost Naomi, she still wanted Him.  Is your jaw on the floor too?

Carolyn James stated in her book that she often heard people who read her book say “I want to be like Ruth.”   Do they?  Do I?  Do you?  Do we really want to throw all our comfort and security out the proverbial window.  Are we really willing to choose suffering in order to know God more deeply and trust Him more completely?

Do you ever forget that a life change is called that for a reason.  I struggle with the fact that I can see something new and/or amazing about God and be changed by what was revealed to me about God.  Then I go back to my old selfish, compromising, untrusting self.   I go from KNOWING that God’s way is the best way to live.  Instead I return to trying to control my life and do things my way.

Our pastor, Charlie Boyd, reminded us in his message about Jacob this week that life change is a life change.  We are changing people not changed people.  Yes, ultimately we are changed when we become justified by the blood of Jesus, but our salvation is also a work in progress.  God uses our entire life on this earth to make us into Him image. 

I often forget what He has done in my heart and return to “my old ways.”  It’s encouraging to know that God is STILL at work in my life.  I’m not perfect and not going to be here on this earth, but there is a new day coming when I will live out the Life that lives in me forever.

It is official…I’m a runner.  Never in my life would I have ever thought that me and my sister would be RUNNING in the park.  Almost a year ago I weighed 35-40 lbs. more than I do now.  I couldn’t go up the 8 or so steps at my mom’s house without being out of breath.  Yesterday I ran over a mile.  I won’t lie.  It wasn’t a “walk in the park,” but It was awesome.  I understand the post run rush that runners get.  The truth is that God has brought me to this place.  He has given me the motivation to exercise.  He gave me the competitive drive to push myself beyond what i think I can do.  Believe me, I definately couldn’t do that much running before yesterday!  Needless-to-say, I’m stoked!!!!

To me running is now part of engaging life, so put on your tennis shoes and get to steppin’.

This evening I will be celebrating the life of my Aunt Marilyn.  She will be a certain milestone age this coming Wednesday.  What you don’t know about her is that she knows how to engage life.  She lives.  A few years ago my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She beat it, but about two years ago the cancer returned.  It was now in her spine.  No one ever mentioned that she was going to die, but I knew it was that serious.  What’s amazing is that she is still alive and kickin’.  I do mean kickin’.   She is so good at living that you would never know she has cancer.  She laughs as much as she ever has.  She’s closer to God than she’s ever been.  She’s just as fun as she’s always been.  My aunt knows what it’s like to face the end of life, and she has decided to make the most of her life.  I believe that her attitude towards life is very much a part of her body’s response to her treatments.  She is doing well considering that she does have cancer.  I just think she is a perfect example of a person who has taken life by storm, and I truly admire her for it.

I love you Auntie M!

Does anyone else out there ever just feel off?    Anyone???  HELLO!!!!!!!!!  (echo in a canyon optional)

This should be a fun one.  So when is enough enough when it comes to drinking alcohol.   This is a question that I have wrestled with for a while now.  I believe the Bible is clear that being drunk is a sin.  God wants us to be controlled by the Holy Spirit as shown by example in the life of Christ.  The question is whether or not buzzing is the same thing in the eyes of God as being 3 sheets to the wind. 

Another question to be asked is if a person struggles to control their consumption from time to time should they avoid alcohol completely? 

I have seen first hand the destruction alcohol can have on friendships, family relationships and marriages.  So is it really worth it to drink to the point that those relationships are endangered, hurt or completely destroyed. 

I have set certain limits for myself that I thought were reasonable, limits that might make me feel good, but not get me drunk.  I have realized that even those limits can cause a different reaction in my body under different circumstances.  For me the wise thing is to bring my limit back to a safer place. 

So what do you think?

This morning I was reading Mark 1:1-15.  In verses 12-13 is was struck by something new.  Jesus was impelled to go into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit.  He was sent, led or instructed to go into the wilderness.  The wilderness experience for Jesus MUST have been like spiritual boot camp.  Probably not a lot of sleep.  No food.  Wild beasts everywhere.  Worst of all 40 days of temptation.  I think I was most impacted by that statement.

Have you ever felt tortured by Satan.  I have had days when I felt like I was being ambushed by temptation.  I felt weak and tortured in my spirit.  Ever felt that way?  What kills me is that it never lasts more than a couple days at the most, but for Jesus it was 40 days.  Those few days seem like the worst days of my life.  I can’t imagine 40 days of temptation by the evil one. 

One of the best parts about this time of testing was that in the midst of this difficult experience the angels were ministering to Jesus.  For the entire duration of His “boot camp” you see that God sent His servants to sustain but not rescue Jesus.  Like drill sargeants I’m sure they were “cheering” him on.  Encouraging Him to keep going.  God knew that Jesus needed this experience for His upcoming task.

It’s the same for us.  The next time you are going through a long, drawn out, exhausting testing time look around for all the ways that God is sustaining you.  Realize that there is an end to your trial.  God is training you and strengthing you by exercising your spiritual muscles for you.  Remember that there are others surrounding you who are praying and ministering to you too.